Preseason Football & Pig Fever

There is nothing you can do about it, so don’t panic…

Flu season is usually a boring story. People cough, some people get shots and  some people don’t – but if you don’t you might die (cue panic). This year the stories read a little differently. Everyone looking at the “Health” column on Google News is keeping an eye on the H1N1 virus. Yes, Swineflu, the apocalyptically driven bad-ass big brother of Influenza. He’s here, and he’s gonna’ get ya’ (cue hysteria).

All news is bad news in the world of swineflu. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that no more than 55 million vaccines will be ready by mid-October. This is not enough to halt the spread of the virus. To make things worse, college aged kids are getting infected at an ‘alarming’ rate, and oh yeah, the regular flu is still coming around. These are all very serious, and possibly scary realities, but none of these reasons are why swine flu has me snorting in disgust.

I’m pissed because H1N1 havoc has caused American University to make a ‘pandemic plan’. If campus becomes infected then AU will have blackboard.com run classes, just like those online colleges on TV. Students (like myself) will pay over 45,000 dollars for 30-36 credits of online courses. The University of Phoenix (one of those online colleges…the one with largest enrollment out of all colleges in America) offers the same education for only 13,000 to 16,000 dollars.

AU does deserve credit for their inclusion of a refund program if things get real bad. But who the hell made the rest of this plan?  Closing borders, schools, and public transportation has been called ‘ineffective’ by the CDC, WHO, UN, EU, and Obama. These measures will not stop the spread of the virus; it will only slow down the inevitable spread of the swineflu. But AU has made it the foundation of their plan.

For 45,000 dollars a year I should be able to get sick on campus, or at a game, just like everyone else in America. Not because the mailman sneezed on my Sports Illustrated.

This fall two things are certain, you’re gonna get swineflu, and Favre is gonna play (see, there was a preseason football comment). There is nothing you can do about it, so don’t panic. And please, cover your mouth and wash your hands.

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